Sexual violence is on a continuum. It does not always look like you would expect it to – it may be something you felt versus an outright vicious attack. Sexual violence is a result of sexism that occurs on a continuum of attitudes, beliefs, and actions. It is the oppression of women, whether through words or actions, that is of a sexual nature and against a person’s will.
It is not a matter of if you are assaulted as a woman, but rather when. I have spoken with several women and asked the question “how many times have you been assaulted?” Not one woman said never. The conversation sparked many memories of, “oh yea and there was this one time…” These are occurrences that have started at very young ages. Saddening, sexual violence is the norm for many as society has created a sex culture that is accepting of the cat calls and judgements against women as if we are property or objects. This societal acceptance of sexual objectification has created a foundation where this has become the value of women.
Do women have a right to strut their sexiness? Damn right they do! And they have the right to be sexy without cat calling and grouping. However, sexual objectification of women, by women – where do we draw the line? Women do play a role in this continuum of beliefs. Women objectifying themselves as a “sex objects” results in oppression of women everywhere and takes society back a few steps. We are more than a body or a “nice ass.” A woman’s sexuality is a piece of the person she is. Let’s empower women and girls, teach them to embrace their bodies and accept that they are perfectly flawed. We have breasts, we have vulvas and we have vaginas. We should be proud of this miraculous machine we women call a body. It is a body that needs to be respected by all – men and women alike.
Sex sells!
So where do we go from here? As a woman, I 100% believe we are entitled to our sexuality. Yet, how do we fight this fight of oppression? Somedays it feels like being trapped in a cyclone, despite the fact that sexual violence does not occur in isolation. Unwanted sexual advancements is the most widespread human rights violation, and it does not discriminate.
What we can do is support women by providing them with the courage to break free from abuse. We must educate men, women and our youth – changing gender stereotypes, attitudes and beliefs that condone violence and harmful constructions of masculinity. Further, the message that women should look more feminine is everywhere. A woman’s constant preoccupation with appearance has come to be regarded as something natural and voluntary; women are objectifying themselves.
Stop!!
As a community we can promote a culture that does not allow or accept violence against women. Know that 1 in 3 girls will experience sexual violence before the age of 18 (National Women’s Law Center). These are our daughters, sisters, nieces and friends. Please:
“Break the silence. When you witness violence against women and girls, do not sit back. Act.” – Ban Ki-moon
By Lori Cuno, Executive Director